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I’m just starting this blog…bear with me

Oh, to be out of breath in my pursuit of God!

It’s the third day of classes and I’m already starting to feel a bit discouraged…nothing to do with classes really.  I miss Jared.  I miss him like all kinds of craziness.  I got to see  him for a few hours on Monday which was amazing, but something about being on the campus where we met and started dating and shared so many memories without him just makes things so much harder.  The summer wasn’t easy, but we made it with God’s help   I’m not one to really feel “down” often, but I have been…feeling lonely I suppose…which ultimately is my own fault because I’m focussing on myself, I know.  Regardless, tonight we had “campus church”.  Being the first Wednesday night of the semester not many students have chosen a place of worship/ministry for their midweek service, so a good majority of us were at the service on campus.  After hearing a few testimonies about how God worked in and through people this summer and praising God through song, Coach Wehry spoke on Psalm 63.  David wrote this Psalm while he was running away from his son.  That might have sounded non-chalant.  Listen (read) closely…David’s SON was chasing him!!  David was running and hiding from his own son!

His response:

(paraphrased) “Oh God you are my God, in earnest will I seek Thee; for in a dry and weary land my soul and body yearn and thirst for You.  I see You in the sanctuary and I behold Your power and glory.  Because Your love is more than life my lips will praise You, Lord!  Thus I will bless You while I’m living, with hands held high and praises giving.  My spirit satisfied will be, my mouth will praise You, Lord!”

OK, so Jared isn’t here with me.  Maybe I’m still in college and I just want to be done with it and move on and get married and go on with my life.  Maybe I don’t do so well in classes.  Maybe school completely terrifies me.  My God is a personal, intimate God.  He is in control of each and every situation that I face and you know what?!  I should trust Him.  I should praise and honor and glorify Him in the midst of whatever issues I may be going through.  He knows they’re important to me.  He knows what is best for me.  He loves me. 

My “job”: Seek Him earnestly!  Long for Him!

Hot vs. Cold

So Jared recently challenged me to study out Revelation 3:14-16 and that is exactly what I’ve been doing all night long. It’s a passage I’ve heard preached a million times. In this passage Jesus says, “I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”

I’ve always heard it said that this passage simply means that as believers it is impossible to be a “fence straddler”. You can’t be with the world and with God. God does NOT like it when we are lukewarm. He dislikes it so much that He’d rather us be cold than lukewarm, that is if we’re not going to be hot.

Another way of looking at this passage, too, is figurative. It turns out their were some well-known hot springs not far from Laodicea known for their great medicinal value. There also was some good underground cold water prized as great drinking water. Lukewarm water was of no value. Jesus is saying that the believers are not valuable at all because they are lukewarm, not hot or cold (both of which were valuable).

I’m not definite about this, but I found it interesting since I’d never heard it before.

Always the Same

So today in Sunday School, one of the things we touched on is that God is immutable…He NEVER changes.  We were asked how that affects us…what it means to us in our relationship with God.  My mind went to my relationship with my wonderful boyfriend.  I was thinking about how being away from him this summer is so difficult for both of us, and to be totally honest, how hard it really is to trust…completely…when you cannot see the other person.  People fail you…people change.  Then I went back to the question that had been posed to me.  How does the fact that God doesn’t change affect me and my relationship with Him?  Trust is a BIG deal in relationships.  God NEVER changes!  I can completely and totally trust in God knowing that He won’t fail me.  He’s not going to change.  That is so encouraging!

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July, everybody! I think of lot of the time we just see this day as a day to get off of work (which really is a blessing!) and if you’re anything like my family, to bum around and do nothing for the day. Many people tend to celebrate by eating and socializing, and of course…fireworks All of these are perfectly good things to do, but this year, let us not forget to thank God for the freedoms that we, as Americans, are blessed with. God bless America.

Be ready always…

I looked out the living room window this afternoon and saw a couple standing at the end of our driveway. The woman was wearing a skirt and the man was dressed in a suit and was carrying a baby. The woman had with her a purse and a small, black, leather book…I assumed a Bible. It humored me momentarily because I, too, have been a “door-to-door”er. They pair walked up the driveway and approached the front door…which I eagerly opened to see what it was they had to say. The woman was the talker…she told me her name and started talking about a Watchtower magazine (that meant nothing to me) and the end times. She opened her “Bible” (in quotes because it was not the Holy Bible) to II Timothy and read to me verses about the end times and signs of the end times and told me the booklets she had would explain more about the end times. I asked her where she went to church and she told me she goes to a Jehovah’s Witness church in town. I replied, “Oh, really? I go to a Baptist church in town…East Park Baptist. I also go to a Bible college up in WI.” She was a bit shocked and from that information decided I must know my stuff (she actually made a comment to that effect) and she apparently did not want to hang around any longer. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn’t…my reason…I had no idea what to say…I chickened out…I needed verses to share and I didn’t have them. It was a good eye-opener for me and my need to work on my apologetics…As believers, we are to be ready always to give a reason for the hope in us. Are you ready?

So true…

You know how people always say that you never know how much a person means to you until they’re not with you anymore? That is so true! I knew Jared was a big deal to me, he’s my boyfriend! BUT…being away from him is making me realize even more just how special he is. I am so thankful for him It’s been good for me…being separated from him for a while. I’m being almost forced to learn complete trust, one thing that is ESPECIALLY important in a relationship. I struggle with trusting people…people betray you. I can honestly say that I completely trust Jared, though. I’m one of those “never had a boyfriend before” people simply because…well, obviously God didn’t think I was ready until now. I never imagined it would be this way though…Most couples fight a lot and have fun making up. Jared and I don’t fight…not saying we’re perfect by any means ’cause we have disagreements, but we talk through them and pray about whatever the situation may be. We always turn the situation toward God and see what He would want because that is what we want for our lives. So yeah…summer is forever and I want to see Jared, but the time away from him is making me stronger…making us stronger

Sigh…

I MISS JARED!!! OK, I just had to get that out of my system. Being away from him for an entire summer is SO hard!!! I know that God is in control and is helping us through and knows what is going on and will go on and all of that, but it’s still hard! I want to be with him and see him and spend time with him and talk to him as much as I can, but I can’t do all of that. I cannot wait until I get to see him again (which is still for a little while). This Sunday will be our “anniversary” Jared is such an incredible blessing to me. He has been so good to me and is just…he’s amazing! I cannot even believe that God put someone as amazing as Jared into my life.

Enough of that ranting and raving

I’ve been learning a lot lately…more through life than anything else: patience, perseverance, love, kindness, etc. One thing that I’m really working on is having a gentle and quiet spirit. I’m a major girly girl compared to anybody I’m around here at home, but sometimes I have my slightly less feminine moments and I really need to work on that. Something else I’m working on is patience…NOT easy. I am probably the most impatient person around…especially when it comes to missing people.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with spending time in my Bible. I LOVE reading my Bible, but work has been crazy and it completely wears me out and I’ve been falling asleep before I get my Bible read. I was really encouraged the other day at work when I saw a man reading his Bible on his lunch break. I would do that, but my sister goes to lunch with me now and I don’t want to just ignore her. I need to make time for God in my day (or night).

My mom had a surgery today and is doing well. She is in pain and feels kinda sick, but she’s fine other than that, so that is a big answer to prayers. Along with this comes more responsibilities for me, which I’m actually a little excited about, but I know I’m going to be completely warn out. I also have a ton of lines to memorize for a drama we’re doing for VBS in like a week or two.

Praise the Lord that He promises us rest…”Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Jared also recently reminded me not to become weary in well-doing. God is good all the time, even when life is hectic or not exactly as I would prefer it to be.

Called to Suffer

I had been praying that I would know God more…”and the fellowship of His suffering”. He is answering my prayers and it is NOT fun. Life hasn’t exactly been fun lately. A number of things have been going on that are a little less than desirable, but today topped it all. Today at work I had to deal with WAY grouch people being all grumpy and THEN I was told that I had to leave a half hour early and that I had to come in three hours late tomorrow because…because I worked my butt off and got everything done to the best of my ability the way they wanted and now they have no work for me. I am “a poor college student” and I need the money that I make at my job in order to get back to school. Missing three hours is actually a BIG DEAL and what’s more…my sister and I carpool to work and she still has to be at work at 8:00 so I’m going to sit in the cafeteria for three hours before I can go up to work…I…cried. I went back and talked to the “big boss” on my floor and reminded him that he had promised me 40 hours a week and didn’t really get anywhere with him. The flesh of me is upset because I’ve been working and have been at this place since ‘04 and am doing all of the right things and getting…punished almost. Other people do nothing and thrive…NOT FAIR, huh?! Then I remember that life isn’t fair and that I just have to get up and keep going and TRUST GOD no matter what ’cause He’ll provide for me even if I lose hours at work…easy to say, hard to live. And I have to thank God for answering my prayers because I am growing closer to God and experiencing a slight degree of suffering…God is good. He loves me and will (and does) provide for my every need. I should be thankful for the “hard times” that come into my life…they draw me closer to Him.

It’s Not His Fault

I’ve been learning a lot lately…that I need to be content, that I need to rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS, that I need to learn to love…everybody, not just people who are easy to love, that God is in control and He knows what is going on, that you never realize exactly HOW MUCH a person means to you until you are separated from them, that I don’t HAVE to sin because God promises to never give me anything that He and I can’t handle together and if I do sin (and believe me I do and will) it is my own fault. The most vivid and recent thing that God has taught me is that if I do not truly know God it is not His fault, but mine. We are told in the book of James that if we draw near to God He will draw near to us…WE HAVE TO DRAW NEAR TO HIM! I long so much to know God…I realize that that entails a lot more than mere knowledge, but a true, deep love relationship…”That I may know Him and the fellowship of His suffering…” I struggle, daily…we all do, but I want to know God more and I want to please Him in all I do. God has really been growing me through many different circumstances and the time that I spend in His word and prayer. I’m excited about what He is teaching me and what He has in store for me.